Finally, the madness has started again. I watch this show from India, so I have to wake up early and do my business before I start watching, and get ready to go wherever I have to, because Winter is Coming and I need to work.
Winter is here and it is sure as hell sending chills down the spine.
Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1 – ‘Dragonstone’ starts with Walder Frey addressing a bunch of other asshole Freys and feasting as usual. For a second, I thought it’s still a recap and Arya is going to kill the fucker and feed him the ‘son pie’ again, but two minutes into the speech, we know it is Arya. She is really loving this ‘girl has no name’ game and she is good at it. All that spanking she got after her job at the spa has worked. Like a boss, she poisons the folks and just leaves. A real thug life moment.
Silent Night Walkers!!!
While all this is going on, the Night Walkers are increasing in numbers day by day. They are just one plague away from building the largest army in the world. If they conduct elections in the seven kingdom, the Night King will sure become the president. Thankfully, it is no democracy, and the ruler of the kingdom will be decided the most entertaining way, by making other people fight for them. I know Game of Thrones is fiction and not history, but history stopped being entertaining since we got democracy and this series is far from being that.
Badass Women of GOT!!!
This show is known for some badass women, and this episode kind of focuses on them Arya, Sansa, Brienne of Tarth and most importantly Lyanna Mormont of the Bear Island. What Lyanna did today will give any feminist multiple orgasms. The way she silences the old fellow at Night’s Watch daily post dinner totally pointless convention is just meme worthy moment of the show. She says women will train too, so fuck off. The way Brienne and Sansa smirk at the exact moment when her speech is on, shows the tiny little feminist uprising of the amazing women of Game of Thrones.
Lyanna brushed her teeth!!!
At the same convention, you can witness Sansa’s and Jon’s power struggle, Sansa wants to kill the Umbers and Karstarks, because that’s what you do on the show, kill people. Age or sex doesn’t matter. The only people not killed so far are the Eunuchs (may be one eunuch), who shows no signs of dying or ageing. Jon Snow was pissed when Sansa speaks out of turn and on top of it, she wants to kill people. He also tells her separately, you are going all Cersei right now and you are less than half her age. If you have seen Sansa in season 1, she is one annoying woman, but most annoying women get what they want.
Sansa’s eyes look like those of White Walkers!!!
Why can’t men leave the women alone?
Petyr Baelish and Tormund really need to step up their game. Petyr cannot be trusted, so we really don’t want him to get what he wants from Sansa, but Tormund is a nice guy and is trying to get a girl way out of his league. There is a moment, when Brienne asks Sansa, “What does he want?” and she says, “I know what he wants!!”. Littlefinger the bastard!!!
Cersei and Jamie take Geography lessons!!!
Cersei has fucked up. Burning the sept and people in it, was not necessary and she knows she fucked up. The problem is, she is not willing to accept it. She looks for an ally in Euron Grejoy, who is willing to help her, but he wants to marry her. He has no idea what he is getting into. Seriously what’s with the men on the show. They can get all the girls they want, but they want to do stupid shit for that one women.
Samwell Tarly’s first year of graduation!!!
Samwell Tarly has had a tough life, but he finally reached the library. Unfortunately, his first year of graduation is fucked. He is cleaning shit and cooking food that looks like shit. He is for sure living a shitty life right now, but we all know he is going to be the game changer. I watched that shit cleaning scene while having my breakfast and it was pretty gross. This is what it sounds like …
He is not getting access to the Restricted Area and is forced to weigh brains and clean up after post mortem. So he decides to steal. No matter how timid his character is shown to be, he is the one who holds the key to defeating the white walkers, especially after Cersei used up all her Wildfire burning religious people.
Hahaha that’s Ed Sheeran and a sexist soldier!!!
Fuck that’s Ed Sheeran!!!
So, Arya plans to take her killing spree to King’s Landing and just stumbles upon a bunch of soldiers eating rabbits and singing songs. Just Game of Thrones things. One of them happens to be Ed Sheeran and you are like hahahaha that’s Ed Sheeran. Fuck that’s actually Ed Sheeran. Arya tells Ed Sheeran and his soldier friends I want to kill the queen and they are like go ahead we don’t give a shit. One of them is expecting a baby and wants it to be a girl, because girls take care of their fathers and boys go off to fight. In a way Arya is doing both, so she really doesn’t dignify the soldier’s sexist statement with a response.
Sandor Cleagane has a heart!!!
A couple of seasons back, Sandor Cleagane, the hound had robbed an old man and his daughter and taken away their silver. He goes back to the same house. Last time he was there, he had rabbit stew and landed himself a job. He was an asshole then, but this time he looks into the fire, checks out white walkers and has a change of heart. The mistake he commits is, he buries them. Come on, it’s season 7. By this time, you need to start burning the dead, no matter how old they are.
Daenerys has taken back the Dragonstone without saying a word!!!
Khaleesi lands at the Dragonstone. It was pretty easy for her as Stannis abandoned and it was just left there like an orphan. This was still an emotional moment for Dany, who took back the castle for Targaryens. She reaches there and like a true boss asks – “Shall we Begin???”. I hope they don’t follow up with a dance, because that will be weird.
Jorah the Sick!!!
They have not shown his face properly, but the only one so curious about Daenerys Targaryen can be Jorah Mormont, who seemed to be quarantined in the citadel as he is suffering from greyscale disease. Samwell is serving him food and cleaning his poop too. One day when he is taking back, what I assume is his poop, he scares the shit our of already disgusted Sam asking for the Khaleesi.
In conclusion, the women on the show are badass and the men are either friend zoned or stupid, except Ser Davos Seaworth, who pretty much did only this in today’s episode.
Wise men don’t speak much!!!
It was a slow start to the season, but a much needed one as last two episode of previous season were absolute madness. It looks like we are well set for some madness in a much smaller season.
Looney Darindey 
Did arya use condoms in the final episode?